when they believe in you . . .

when they believe in you . . .

My brother passed in November of last year and I haven’t really grieved. Organising funerals, being there for family members, making arrangements. All of these things take energy, fortitude especially when the death is unexpected. Creativity has been a source of energy and regeneration for me at times, allowing me to actually grieve in a way that seemed real to me.

Shit is short. Enjoy it while you can”

Mighty Man (all day, every day)

This isn’t a eulogy or tribute, this is an acknowledgement of the truth. Life is fleeting and unpredictable. When the winds come for us and carry us over the mountains, the others remember us for our deeds. What will we take with us? Feelings. Energy. Vibes.

These hands, this voice, this collection of cells and tissues is destined to do the one thing that it can: to create. Even when I’ve tried to bury my heart’s desires in becoming a robotic component in the capitalist system, I’ve failed. I am nothing but creative, even when sweeping the floor. Before I go anywhere, I have to acknowledge that.

Like a lot of late-blooming creatives, I’m a product of high-expectation and low self-esteem. The work that goes before the creativity has consumed me, capturing me in cyclical patterns of self-reflection, critique and improvement. But none of that matters. If what I am to do is get on with this shit, then I have to. Shame. Others know it and told me for years.

Dedicated to Mighty Man, Daf and JC.

This year I dedicate all that I create to the people that believed in me when I couldn’t get past my fears. Every time you see me pushing a product, hustling for an opportunity, know that I do it for them. Man I’m comfortable in life already. This year is getting that juice to honour the dead and the living. So let’s see it.

RIEP Mighty Man. Big up Fruit Juice. More love, more power. Shit is short. Enjoy it.